| SUMMER 2008 ISSUE |
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[And now it’s time for yet another stroll down Discipline Drive by way of Punishment Place. You bring the questions, and Mistress Hades whips up the answers…--Editor] DEAR MS. HADES: Help! I married my husband three years ago and it turns out he’s a computer junkie. It's ruining our marriage as he spends at least 10 hours a day on the computer. He neglects me, the children and everything else because of this cruel addiction. Two years ago we bought a fixer-upper house and he was gung-ho about making improvements, but that lasted only as long as it took him to find a desk and get broadband hooked in. Then he was back in front of his computer and he's barely moved since. He has gone from being a handsome, outgoing, affectionate husband to an overweight, smelly, temperamental roommate. We fight constantly about how much time he spends playing computer games. He insists that it's nobody's business how he spends his time. I thought he would eventually get bored with his PC but he just won’t budge. It's been three years and he’s getting worse. All of our family, friends, acquaintances, and even his co-workers have commented on his obsession. He even takes his personal laptop to work every day. I married for love and don't believe in divorce, but I'm almost ready to reconsider. I need a husband and our children need their father. He is a good man, but I'm exhausted from trying to compete with a computer. Ms. Hades, what should I do? Join a computer widow support group and just learn to love the new him? SIGNED: The Computer Widow DEAR WIDOW: Sounds like it’s time to get a little Black Widow on his ass! While I do think it is perfectly acceptable to allow a male to have hobbies, I believe they must be supervised. The moment that hobby takes attention from his GODDESS, it is time to tame the beast! You could go the “marriage counselor” route so he can “comfortably” face his demon but I say why waste the time? Early Friday morning drop the kiddies at Granny’s house for a weekend. Hmm…what? School? Oh, slave Titi just informed me that you might have to get your kid picked up from school or something. Fine. Whatever. Just arrange it so you have most of the day to get ready. You have things to do. As he walks through the door greet him with a nice big tazer zap. Have two strong friends pick his sorry ass up and bend him over securing him to a spanking pony. His arms and legs should be chained apart so he is stretched wide. You will know when he comes to by the muffled screams and clanking chains. Mmm! I envy you that part. It is time he learned in no uncertain terms just where his attention belongs. If he squirms too much, have an electric cattle prod handy. If he calls you names - show him a pair of rubber gloves, lube and a glass dildo fresh out of the freezer. If he screams - stick a dirty pair of his own underwear in his mouth (I’m sure he has a fave pair with lots of skid marks). Grab a nice sharp knife and enjoy his helpless whimpers as you cut away his clothing, all the while reassure him in a calming voice that he must be naked in order to be cleansed. Make him understand that this is for his own good and he will thank you later. Show him pictures of the lean and handsome man you married three years ago. Flog him, spank him and tease him until he can’t help but be aroused. Let bad hubby see you all decked out in leather wielding a vicious crop. Use this time to remind him why he wants to obey you. Give his dick a nice tug and jog his memory so he knows who owns that little nugget. Thus ends the positive reinforcement part of this lesson. Put a mirror up and make him look at how disgusting he has become. As you slip on the rubber gloves tell him calmly that he has forgotten who his ass belongs to and, for his own good, you are going to remind him in a way that he will NEVER forget. Pick up the lube and ice cold dildo. It’s time for the purification by ice. Be sure he can see you positioning yourself behind his virgin ass. Maintain your patience. Let him know that you understand he is weak and you are here to give him strength. After all, they do say that behind every good man is a woman waiting to drill his ass. His grateful tears will flow. Caveat: He can, of course, play Running With Scissors games, albeit on a strict schedule. --Ms. Hades http://www.10speedtalkinbicycle.deviantart.com/ Do you have a question for Ms. Hades? Ask the question here!
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