DEAR MS. HADES
Miss Manner Goes To Hell!

[It’s time for another letter from some pain slut, pansy boy or their inept Master/Mistress. What WOULD you hopeless individuals do without Ms. Hades to provide the 11 Basic Rules of Dungeon Etiquette? It pains me to think about it… –BK]

Dear Ms. Hades: I have been invited to my first Dungeon Party. I’m not quite sure what this means and I have no clue how I am supposed to act. The problem is I can really be a smartass. Is there such a thing as dungeon manners? Can you please advise me on how to behave so I don’t embarrass me or my friend?

SIGNED: Learning the Ropes

FINALLY! Someone who doesn’t have their head shoved too far up their ass!!

So many of you foul pissants are downright vulgar in your assumption that you know it ALL! I was so shocked that I must have passed right the fuck out after reading your piece. All I remember was slave “k” passing some 21 year old Lismore under my nose. A nice single malt Scotch always gets my attention… but I digress.

Being a smartass is fine as long as you know when it’s time to shut up and appreciate what’s going on around you. By watching how others play you can learn what kinds of twisted shit really revs your engine.

Just follow these helpful Dungeon Etiquette tips and your evening will be delightfully disturbing!

TOP 11 THINGS NOT TO DO AT A DUNGEON PARTY

• Do NOT walk into the Dungeon and say: “This is a good place for a stickup!”

• Do NOT sit back watching a beautiful ass being welted up and call out for the Dominant to move because your view is blocked.

• Do NOT point at a nice looking woman across the room and holler “You look great in that dress, George.”

• Do NOT attempt to help a Dominant hogtie their prey (you’re still “learning the ropes” remember). Besides, forcing the squirming beast into submission is part of the fun.

• Do NOT look at the cute fetish shoes on a suspended submissive, inform him/her that their line is all wrong and rearrange their feet until you are satisfied with the look.

• Do NOT whip out an artist’s sketchpad to capture the exquisite, tortured look of a subbie right before they pass out.

• Do NOT gasp, look horrified or pass out when you see blood squirting from a fresh wound. If it makes the people playing happy then enjoy it or walk into another room, you weenie.

• Do NOT break out the popcorn and critique another Dominant’s work.

• Do NOT grab your own crotch protectively while watching Cock and Ball torture. Never had your dick tied up with rope and smacked around? Don’t knock it till you try it, babee!

• Do NOT walk around doing your best “Cartman” impersonation shouting; “You will respect my athouritay!”

• Finally, I wouldn’t recommend playing connect-the-dots with someone’s bruises, welts and scars… but it is FUN!

***

FINAL NOTE: I want more of you little bitches checking out the amazing artwork of Kelly Gray! She is the creative darkling who rendered me in the form of that that great little image you see of Ms. Hades at the top of this page. Click on my Ms. Hades icon and you’ll be transported to her site with access to more of her delightfully deviant art. DO IT NOW!

--Ms. Hades

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